THE SNAKE

Holy shit.

No,

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Tonight we had soccer. The game was early so hubby and I decided to brave the great unknown and go out for dinner afterwards. This was the first time for us with 3 kids and no help (aka, friends, family) just the montly crue. Dinner went surprisingly well considering we are outnumbered. Maybe that was because we had a cook making us food (that the kids ordered) and a waitress bringing us drinks (that had booze in them). Either way, we all had a nice time and I would do it again.

We came home, put the kids to bed (not as easy as dinner) and settled in for the night. Settled in tonight meant that hubby and baby fell asleep on the couch and I started my normal night routine of dishes, lunches and bottles.

After I finished emptying the dishwasher, I started on packing the kids lunches for tomorrow. I made PB&J for both the 8-year-old and 3-year-old, packed their lunch-bags with fruit and yogurt and went to the garage to place the lunches in the fridge that is closest to the car.

That’s when I noticed that the garage door was open.

That’s when I quietly cursed my hubby (or one of the kids) for not closing the garage…

and that’s when I opened the door to the garage fridge….

and that is when a FUCKING SNAKE FELL ON ME!!!!

FELL ON ME!!

A SNAKE FUCKING FELL ON ME!!!!

It fell on my head and then slithered off my back onto the floor…

Breathe…. breathe… SCREAM…… {that was my brain}

And I chased that crazy snake right out my open garage….

He seemed a bit more upset then I was (If that was even possible) as I was yelling and panting and crying and grossed out.

I wanted to wake up hubby to help or commiserate but what would be the point? He and the baby are fast asleep on the couch.

And the snake, is thankfully gone.

I am a Hermione Granger loving, snake wrangling, Mo Fo….

I can beat a snake!!! (And by beat, I mean I can scream like a psycho until he exits the premises.)

That’s kinda like speaking parseltongue… Right?

Right?

Still shaking… the dishes can wait.

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