The Crying Game

10:35PM.
The 3 year old is screaming bloody f**king murder because we put him down for bed without books (he deserved it, WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS). The 1 month old is so gassy and upset unless he is being held upright, and we finally told the 8 year old to do whatever he has to do…

This is The Crying Game.

My house after 8 PM isn’t for everybody… shit, it’s barely for me. But, it works. Well, it usually works.

Now it’s Spring Break. Spring Break isn’t really Spring up in this bitch (we live in FL) and as far as I’m concerned my kids always seem to be on some kind of school break… So this is a farce. But our nights are always later then most… Dinner is at 7 and bedtime is at 9… I know, it sounds absurd, and it is pretty much absurd but it works, well it used to work, before we had the baby.

People always told me the “middle child” stories and I really thought they were full of shit.. I mean, we all choose our own destiny, right? But I’m slowly watching my middle child become a straight up nightmare. And as I said before, “we don’t negotiate with terrorists”. (I can say it in a small voice now because he’s finally asleep). I am open to advice because I obviously need some. And although I think I know everything the 3 year old has a fantastic concept to the fact that I suck… I am fully f**king clueless to his needs.Please share your secrets. I’m ready for anything credible….

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3 thoughts on “The Crying Game

  1. Do not negotiate with terrorists. Also, try to approach punishments from an affirmative standpoint: Do you want your bedtime books? Great! When you do X, I will give you a book. Guess what? If you do X and Y and Z, I'll give you four books? What's your choice: just X or XYZ? Long story short, give The Middle Child two choices of things you want him to do.

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